questions about this world

[programermcgeek]

these are a few questions ive had ove the span of my life...tucked away for me to pull out at a moment like this... but, enjoy


1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going
as ghosts but as mattresses?

3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

4. Is there another word for synonym?

5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"

6. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

7. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

8. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

9. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?

10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain
silent?

11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

12. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and
apes?

13. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

19. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

[Eibro]

Oh, so you thought these ones up?

[j0k3r]

Everything is spelled correctly, grammar is correct, and some are actually funny, I'd say no.

[programermcgeek]

lol  i didnt but once i saw them i relized i wondered the same thing...so i just copied and pasted

[Falcon[anti-yL]]

lol  i didnt but once i saw them i relized i wondered the same thing...so i just copied and pasted

Thought so.

[Akamas]

I'd have to agree with joker.

[quasi-modo]

11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

its cheaper. Its the same keypad and all as the walk up one. Why make two keypads. They are required to make them for the walk up ones I believe (and if I am wrong about that, it would make good business sence so they would do it anyway).

[j0k3r]

Just to make sure nobody thinks these are actual questions...

1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

Wiping is not the only way of cleaning yourself. Look it up.

2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going
as ghosts but as mattresses?

Not all, possibly a few.

3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Some other form of punishment would do.

4. Is there another word for synonym?

http://thesaurus.reference.com/search?q=synonym

5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"

No.

6. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

Because it wouldn't be able to fly or hold people.

7. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Yes.

8. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

No, it would have some other name that characterised it better. Also, flys without wings tend to jump more than walk.

9. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?

Since they're located on the outside, there's more chances for people to use them for "other" things

10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain
silent?

Yes, it's a required procedure.

11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

They probably use the same keys as the ATM machines inside the bank.

12. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and
apes?

1. Prove man evolved from monkeys and apes
2. Just because one evolves, doesn't mean they all will. Why don't some poor countries in Africa have all our technology and convniences?

13. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

They don't, it's a warning.

14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

The wheel?

15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

No.

16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Because people don't want to eat expired sour cream.

17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Made an ass out of yourself.

18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

It's probably derived from latin or something, coincidence.

19. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

Why the hell would they be called asteroids? The word probably comes from latin again, and is a compound word, each meaning something different and when brought together describe the condition pretty accurately.

[Soul Taker]

15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

No.

They might!  

16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Because people don't want to eat expired sour cream.

17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Made an ass out of yourself.

Those are hilarious!

[FrOzeN]

lol nice work  

[dxoigmn]

12. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and
apes?

Because man did not evolve from modern monkeys or apes.

[CrAz3D]

Actually, if you succeeded at failing then you would have accomplished both.  You would have failed at your original task, whatever that may have been, & also you would have accomplished failing, failing beind your second task.

[CrAz3D]

Another 'worldy' question: can you 'feel' love?

This is a little more serious/less funny but I figure it somewhat fits in.

[j0k3r]

Actually, if you succeeded at failing then you would have accomplished both.  You would have failed at your original task, whatever that may have been, & also you would have accomplished failing, failing beind your second task.

So if I was on a plan to gain 10lbs, but decided I didn't want to gain 10lbs, and ended up gaining 10lbs, I don't look like an idiot?

[CrAz3D]

The first part of your statement is unnecessary, it seems.  You didn't want to gain 10 lbs, but you purposely gained 10 lbs.  You may look dumb but you accomplished both objectives.

Another example:
You want to write a play/movie that fails, you write a terrible plot, the play/movie fails, you succeeded