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You know you're from...

Started by hismajesty, May 05, 2005, 04:13 PM

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hismajesty

I enjoy reading these things, so post one relative to where you live. Alot can be found at http://www.blogthings.com/wherefrom.html and also searching Google for "You know you're from [place] when." The Virginia one on blogthings was more relative to Northern VA, so I found this one elsewhere.

For me, it's Hampton Roads, Virginia.
As a reference, Hampton Roads is, in order of population, Virginia Beach, Chesapeake, Norfolk, Newport News, Hampton, Portsmouth, Suffolk. Maybe Williamsburg, if you're feeling generous. Add York and James City Counties if you're not in an urban mood.

If you're confused by any of these, I don't mind answering questions. :P

Quote
   1. You can name at least three of Mike Joynes' law partners.
   2. You can finish the Beach Ford song.

   3. You know that 64 West in Chesapeake is actually going east.
   4. Virginia Beach is Virginia Beach unless you actually live there.
   5. You know that Hampton Roads aren't actual roads.
   6. You don't go to the beach every day.
   7. You don't want to go to the beach every day.
   8. You know which beaches to avoid, unlike the tourists.
   9. You believe that Meyera Oberndorf will be the mayor of Virginia Beach for all time.
  10. Little Neck and Great Neck are not locations on Long Island.
  11. Little Neck Creek is not on Little Neck.

  12. Any westbound trip you've ever made involves at least one tunnel.
  13. You can name at least three underwater tunnels within a twenty-mile radius of your home. Extra points if you can name all five.
  14. One of your Adopt-A-School partners in elementary school was a U.S. Navy vessel.
  15. You can say Norfolk while sounding neither obscene nor incorrect.
  16. You don't stop and look skyward when aircraft fly over.

  17. You've seen Rudy Boesch in the Farm Fresh.
  18. You've seen Pat Robertson in the Farm Fresh.
  19. You've seen The Neptunes in the Farm Fresh.
  20. You've seen Timbaland in the Farm Fresh.
  21. You've seen Missy Elliott in the Farm Fresh.
22. You even know what a Food Lion is.
  23. You know which parts of each city to stay out of.
  24. Sometimes the cities just blur into one big metropolis.

  25. Sorry, I meant suburb.
  26. You've been to more minor-league sports games than major-league. (More points if you can name three Hampton Roads minor-league teams)
  27. You know that on-base purchases have no sales tax. (Further points if you can name four military installations in the area)
  28. Newport News is not a catalog, it is a city.
  29. It's Hampton, not The Hamptons.
  30. It's not a peninsula, it's the Peninsula. With a capital P.

  31. You can name all the I-64 spurs.
  32. It's not Portsmouth, its P-town.
  33. It's not Virginia Beach Boulevard, its just The Boulevard.
  34. The Strip isn't a nudie bar, it's a tourist trap.
  35. To you, Scope isn't just mouthwash.
  36. The Boathouse doesn't actually dock any boats.
  37. You've been to the 17th Street Surf Shop.
  38. No, the real one.
  39. You know what WRV, Hotline, Roxy, Billabong, and Quiksilver are.

  40. You've ever heard South Side by Moby while actually on the Southside.
  41. You know Dam Neck and Birdneck aren't necks of any kind.
  42. You use Cox Cable and refer to Cox High School without even snickering.
  43. You know Mount Trashmore is a real place, not a joke.
  44. You don't mind the jet noise.
  45. You don't slow down in the tunnel, because it's not a big deal. Stupid out-of-towners.

  46. Walking up hills causes an instant asthma attack. (this refers to us being so flat..but it doesn't apply to me)
  47. While away from home, you can identify a fellow HR resident by their being the only one in a 17th Street shirt and flip flops. In December.
  48. You can go surfing and strawberry-picking in the same day.
  49. The left lane is not the passing lane, it's the only lane.
  50. You know what Rita's Italian Ice is. (Rita was a client of my grandmas, too)

  51. You have friends at three other high schools, minimum.
  52. Jimmy Buffet is a regular fixture at parties and social events.
  53. A hermit crab is a legitimate pet.
  54. You know not to bring your golf clubs to the Tidewater Country Club. (Because it's a Yacht club, no golfing - just tennis and sailing)
  55. No, it's a city. Not a county.
  56. It's normal for seven cities to be linked in almost every conceivable way.
  57. Your city is 20 miles long but only 3 miles wide.
  58. You can leave town for years at a time to find the same sections of road still under construction.
  59. Base/shipyard traffic is one of the most dehumanizing experiences you can think of.
  60. You have to adopt a surrogate professional sports team because you live in the largest metropolitan area without a single one.
  61. It's Seven Five Seven, not Seven Fifty-Seven.
  62. An inch of snow closes everything down.
  63. 3 inches is a blizzard.

  64. You've been due for a Major Hurricane for about 15 years. (had one 2 years ago)
  65. Earthquakes? Pardon?
  66. Your region is having an identity crisis: Hampton Roads? Greater Norfolk? Tidewater? Norfolk-Virginia Beach-Newport News?
  67. At least 75 mph on the interstate: It's not just a good idea, it's the law. If you want to survive.

  68. You know who the Norwegian Lady is. (It's a restraunt or something, I asked my mom so this doesn't count.)
  69. No, you can't walk to the beach. Moron. (Interstate, fools)
  70. You block the box. (YES!!!!)
  71. You didn't immediately respond to #70 with "What?"
  72. The pedestrians are only at the beach.
  73. You've seen Jamestown, Williamsburg, Yorktown, and First Landing. And don't think it's that big of a deal.

  74. During Real Stories of the Highway Patrol, instead of saying, "Too bad for him," you say, "That guy was in my gym class!"
75. You can see another 7-11 from the 7-11 you're currently at.
  76. You can't afford Nordstrom. But you have one.
  77. Why shop at Gap and Old Navy when you have Walmart, Target, and Payless? (That's so true to many people here.)
  78. MacArthur was not only a brilliant general, but a fine shopping establishment.
  79. Bridges go over water, not land.

  80. Tagalog is a language, and you might know a few words, if not speak fluently.
  81. You know not to swim at Buckroe Beach. (It's incredibly dirty.)
  82. You know Jefferson Park is not a real park.
83. You don't laugh when you hear Rip Rap Road.
  84. You hear downtown and immediately think of some other city. (Nah, I live in Norfolk...which is downtown)
  85. You have to specify which Lynnhaven, Princess Anne, or Kempsville Road you're referring to.
  86. You have to go to DC to see any of the big-name concerts because you live in the largest demographic cul-de-sac in the United States.
  87. You can name all the HR cities.
  88. You don't know what the big deal about lacrosse is.
  89. Nor do you know what the big deal about ice hockey is. Rhinos??
  90. You know that Norfolk International Airport isn't really an International airport.

  91. Newport News/Williamsburg International Airport never even enters your mind. (Most of my flights are from NNI)
  92. No, you're not hallucinating. Those are mermaids. (We have Mermaid statue things, everywhere)
  93. You've attended the Neptune Festival without being pagan.

  94. You're still wearing sandals in November. (October, yes, November, no.)
  95. You're a Republican.
  96. You know the real reason we haven't been hit by a hurricane in the last several years is because of Pat Robertson. Emphatically cough here for emphasis.
  97. You've ever wondered how many fish and crabs PETA killed building their new headquarters on the banks of the beautiful Elizabeth River.
  98. You had a nickel for every OBX sticker you saw on the road, you'd be a rich man by now.

  99. You're tired of there being no respect for your home. (I think it sucks too.)
100. You know that it all started here.
101. You can refer to Wilhoughby Spit with a straight face.
102. You know the best surfing waves only happen when a hurricane hits.
103. You've been invited to a hurricane party.
104. You can spell "Doumar's."
105. The ONLY place to get Krispy Kreme doughnuts is at the location on 'the boulevard.'
106. You refer to the I-64 spur to 44 as "the flyover."

107. Visiting Nauticus is NEVER an option. No matter how bored you are.
108. You remember public transportation when it was called "TRT". Bonus points if you remember what it stands for.
109. When someone asks for directions "downtown," you send them to Norfolk.

110. Your high school graduation was held at the Pavilion.
111. It's "The Beach."
112. The word "Weak" means "Funny." (I don't use 'weak,' but a lot of people do.)
113. You don't think you have a southern accent.
114. The worst cut down in middle school was to be called a "Poser."
115. You've been up in The Jewish Mother.
116. You think a t-shirt, shorts, and flip flops are proper attire in February.
117. You vacation in Nags Head.
118. You know that Volcom is a brand, not some guy from Star Trek.
119. You know that Hurley is a brand, not some generic Harley-Davidson.
120. Guy's volleyball doesn't seem strange to you.
121. You know the Haunted Fun House looks cooler on the outside than the inside.
122. You've spent time at Coney Island Games waiting for your movie at Pembroke.

Blaze

You Know You're From Ontario When...


"Vacation" means going to Barrie for the weekend.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You use a down comforter in the summer.
You think of the major food groups as deer meat, fish, and berries.
There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the Canadian Tire store at any given time.
Your provincial capital calls in the army to help clean up after a snow storm.
Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump
You, and you, alone decide who will win the federal election
You're in the only province with hard-core American-style crime
MuchMusic's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on national TV for a dollar
Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the side of your house
You know there's no such thing as an Ontario Seperatist
Your grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition
Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they mistakenly believe it's a cool city
You have enough French vocabulary to get by some of the day in Ottawa without them thinking that you're a completly incapable American.
You find -40C a little chilly.
You voted Liberal in the last election.
You understand the Labatt's Blue commercials.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Ontario.
Quote
Mitosis: Haha, Im great arent I!
hismajesty[yL]: No

CrAz3D

You know you're from New Mexico when...
Quote
You buy salsa by the gallon.

You are still using the paper license tag that came with your car five years ago.

Your favorite restaurant has a chile list instead of a wine list.

You do all your shopping and banking at a drive-up window.

Your Christmas decorations include "a yard of sand and 200 paper bags".

You have license plates on your walls, but not on your car.

Most restaurants you go to begin with "El" or "Los".

You remember when Santa Fe was not like San Francisco.

You hated Texans until the Californians moved in.

The tires on your roof have more tread than the ones on your car.

You price-shop for tortillas.

You have an extra freezer just for green chile.

You think a red light is merely a suggestion.

You believe that using a turn signal is a sign of weakness.

You don't make eye contact with other drivers because you can't tell how well armed they are just by looking.

You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful front lawn.

You have to sign a waiver to buy hot coffee at a drive-up window.

You ran for state legislature so you can speed legally.

You pass on the right because that's the fast-lane.

You have read a book while driving from Albuquerque to Las Vegas.

You know they don't skate at the Ice House and the Newsstand doesn't sell newspapers.

You think Sadies was better when it was in the bowling alley.

You have used aluminum foil and duct tape to repair your air conditioner.

You can't control your car on wet pavement.

There is a piece of a UFO displayed in your home.

You know that The Jesus Tortilla is not a band.

You wish you had invested in the orange barrel business.

You just got your fifth DWI and got elected to the state legislature in the same week.

Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a dust devil.

You have been on TV more than three times telling about how your neighbor was shot or about your alien abduction.

You can actually hear the Taos hum.

All your out-of-state friends and relatives visit in October.

You know Vegas is a town in the northeastern part of the state.

You are afraid to drive through Mora and Espanola.

You iron your jeans to "dress up".

You don't see anything wrong with drive-up window liquor sales.

Your other vehicle is also a pick-up truck.

Two of your cousins are in Santa Fe, one in the legislature and the other in the state pen.

You know the punch line to at least one Espanola joke.

Your car is missing a fender or bumper.

You have driven to an Indian Casino at 3am because you were hungry.

You think the Lobos fight song is "Louie, Louie"

You know whether you want "red or green."

You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer pot-holes.

You can correctly pronounce Tesuque, Cerrillos, and Pojoaque.

You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going to charge you extra for "international" shipping.

You expect to pay more if your house is made of mud.

You can order your Big Mac with green chile.

You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line around you at the grocery store, every other word of each sentence alternates between Spanish and English.

You associate bridges with mud, not water.

You know you will run into at least 3 cousins whenever you shop at Wal-Mart, Sam's or Home Depot.

Tumbleweeds and various cacti in your yard are not weeds. They are your lawn.

If you travel anywhere, no matter if just to run to the gas station, you must bring along a bottle of water and some moisturizer.

Trailers are not referred to as trailers. They are houses. Double-wide trailers are "real" houses.

A package of white flour tortillas is the exact same thing as a loaf of bread. You don't need to write it on your shopping list; it's a given.

At any gathering, regardless of size, green chile stew, tortillas, and huge mounds of shredded cheese are mandatory.

Prosperity can be readily determined by the number of horses you own.

A tarantula on your porch is ordinary. A scorpion in your tub is ordinary. A poisonous centipede on your ceiling? Ordinary. A black widow crawling across your bed is terribly, terribly common. A rattlesnake is an occasional hiking hazard. No need to freak out.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Mexico.


Things I found interesting:

you don't buy real salsa, you make it

they spelled chile right!...whoo

you cant shop at a drive thru, wtf

still hate texans

why wouldn't you price shop for tortillas?

true about people running red lights

crushed rock is water friendly

you'd have to sign a waiver anywhere to buy hot coffee

true about the driving in rain

wtf is an orange barrel?

DWIs remark is quite true

swamp cooler being knocked off by a dust devil is very possible

our visitors come in august, not october

we have 2 pickups, an small suv, & a car

my sister's car has a jacked up bumper

red or green, common sense people, duh!

mud is a very environmentally friendly material to build with.  it controls the temperature alot better

true about the burgers with chile

spanglish is very common :(

people call bread bread & tortillas tortillas, list is wrong

why wouldn't you have chile & cheese & tortillas?

black widows are quite common around
rebundance - having or being in excess of sheer stupidity
(ré-bun-dance)
Quote from: Spht on June 22, 2004, 07:32 PMSlap.
Quote from: Adron on January 28, 2005, 09:17 AMIn a way, I believe that religion is inherently evil, which includes Christianity. I'd also say Christianity is eviller than Buddhism (has more potential for evil).
Quote from: iago on April 19, 2005, 01:06 PM
CrAz3D's ... is too big vertically, at least, too big with ... iago ...

Warrior

Quote
While you're driving and stop at a red light, the people on all sides of you have the bass turned up so high on their radios your windows start to shake

Friendlys is considered the place to "be" with all your friends and your always there no matter what time of day or night.

When it snows you put chair's in your parking spot after you've dug it out so ur stupid neighbors don't steal it from you while your gone.

You see people outside "chillin" on their porches at all hours of the night but during the day its quiet and peaceful

You hear that snow's coming and you know that you most likely won't have school the next day or will have a school delay
even if there's barely any accumulation or its mixed with rain

You can name all the high schools in the city. Yup that's right all of them, you know the 2 public ones (Dieruff (MINE!) and Allen) and the only private one (Central).

You don't know what a sub is, but you think they are trying to describe an imitation HOAGIE.

You can walk to everything, inculding the supermaket due to how close it is.

You school is in the middle of drug/killing infested areas and it's right across from a hospital. (LOLOL YES)

The local Jordan Creek has pot growing around it naturally along with shopping carts and air conditioners.

You live off of A-Treat soda

You refer to Allentown as A-Town

Everyone you meet is Ghetto even that rich white kid.

You know how to pronounce Schuylkill and other weird names like that.

You sleep soundly through gunfire and ambulance sirens.


NOTE: Removed ones that I don't do
Quote from: effect on March 09, 2006, 11:52 PM
Islam is a steaming pile of fucking dog shit. Everything about it is flawed, anybody who believes in it is a terrorist, if you disagree with me, then im sorry your wrong.

Quote from: Rule on May 07, 2006, 01:30 PM
Why don't you stop being American and start acting like a decent human?

hismajesty

Quotewhy wouldn't you price shop for tortillas?
you'd have to sign a waiver anywhere to buy hot coffee

Nobody else price shops for tortillas, CrAz3D. They're almost always the same price here, at least. :P
You really have to sign a waiver to buy hot coffee? Wow, you suck. :P

Warrior: Where is that? What's A-Treat soda?


Warrior

#5
A cheap soda, like 99cents for a 3 liter.
Quote from: effect on March 09, 2006, 11:52 PM
Islam is a steaming pile of fucking dog shit. Everything about it is flawed, anybody who believes in it is a terrorist, if you disagree with me, then im sorry your wrong.

Quote from: Rule on May 07, 2006, 01:30 PM
Why don't you stop being American and start acting like a decent human?

Blaze

I buy pop in 3 liter bottles for 20 more cents then a 2 liter bottle.
Quote
Mitosis: Haha, Im great arent I!
hismajesty[yL]: No

quasi-modo

the florida ones are really stupid...
WAR EAGLE!
Quote(00:04:08) zdv17: yeah i quit doing that stuff cause it jacked up the power bill too much
(00:04:19) nick is a turtle: Right now im not paying the power bill though
(00:04:33) nick is a turtle: if i had to pay the electric bill
(00:04:47) nick is a turtle: id hibernate when i go to class
(00:04:57) nick is a turtle: or at least when i go to sleep
(00:08:50) zdv17: hibernating in class is cool.. esp. when you leave a drool puddle

CrAz3D

Quote from: hismajesty[yL] on May 07, 2005, 02:11 PM
Quotewhy wouldn't you price shop for tortillas?
you'd have to sign a waiver anywhere to buy hot coffee

Nobody else price shops for tortillas, CrAz3D. They're almost always the same price here, at least. :P
You really have to sign a waiver to buy hot coffee? Wow, you suck. :P

Warrior: Where is that? What's A-Treat soda?
I meant that the whole hot coffee incident could happen anywhere in the country, not only New Mexico (but we are stupider than most people)...so w/e
rebundance - having or being in excess of sheer stupidity
(ré-bun-dance)
Quote from: Spht on June 22, 2004, 07:32 PMSlap.
Quote from: Adron on January 28, 2005, 09:17 AMIn a way, I believe that religion is inherently evil, which includes Christianity. I'd also say Christianity is eviller than Buddhism (has more potential for evil).
Quote from: iago on April 19, 2005, 01:06 PM
CrAz3D's ... is too big vertically, at least, too big with ... iago ...

disco

Woodbridge, Virginia

QuoteSpeed limits are just suggestions

You have at least two friends who have no idea what their relatives do...because its "top secret" government work

Most of your senior class wend to Mason, JMU, Tech, VCU or UVA

When people ask where you're from, you tell them DC because its easier to explain

You've never told someone you're from Virginia without putting "northern," "central," or "southern" in front of it (See above.)

It's not actually tailgating unless your bumper is touching the car in front of you.

You know yellow light means at least 5 more cars can get through. (Yeah, man...at least. Probably also happens everywhere else.) A red light means 2 more can.

You actually know what the black boxes at stoplights are for.

Despite the fact that Virginia fought for the south in the Civil War, you are not, under any circumstances, a "southerner"

You are amused by visiting relatives who are actually excited to see Washington, DC

You took a field trip to Williamsburg as a kid

You are amazed when you go out of town and the people at McDonalds speak English

You or someone in your family has a Smart Tag

An inch of snow and you miss 3 days of school

All the potholes just add a little excitement to your driving experience

Crown Victoria = undercover cop

Subway is a fast food place. The transportation system is known as Metro, and only Metro.

They just tore down the old farm house across the street and put 12 new McMansions in its place

For the cost of your house, you could own a small town in Iowa

If you stay on the same road long enough, it will eventually have three new names.

You have to dial the area code to call your neighbor

"Vacation" means spending a day at King's Dominion or Busch Gardens.

"Going to the River" means any stream with water.

You have never been served tea without the waitress asking "sweet or unsweetened?"

Your favorite past time is telling West Virginia jokes.

Anyone who can't trace his or her ancestry back to at least four generations in Virginia is an outsider.

"Going to the beach" means anywhere from Ocean City to Virginia Beach to Myrtle Beach.
Say it with me:


Trance

Los Angeles, California

I put the ones that most apply to me in bold..
Quote
You're driving on the 101 and see a clear cut definition of where the smog begins and ends

You go to a karaoke bar and battle with seven year old divas-in-training who are trying to steal your thunder

You're sitting in traffic for at least an hour at any given part of the day

You go to the beach and see that real lifeguards actually do look like the lifeguards from Baywatch

You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there).

You eat a different ethnic food for every meal

You look around at the nice cars around you during traffic, thinking it'll be your favorite Laker or WB star.

You make a conscious choice to watch Jay Leno over David Letterman

You mourned for Tupac and not for Biggie

You know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.

Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes".

You know what neighborhood someone lives in by the degree of damage incurred during the riots.

You've inadvertently learned Spanish.

You've got to bring the cat/plants in when it drops to 55 degrees.

In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.

You've bumped into a celebrity at El Pollo Loco.

You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean. god I hate PCH...

Your pizza delivery guy is also on contract with Warner Bros.

If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.

You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.

Your TV show is interrupted by a police chase.

You can't fall asleep without the lull of a helicopter flying overhead.

When tourists ask where they can get souvenirs, you direct them to Venice Beach.

You know someone named Freedom, Rainbow, Persephone or Destiny.

You've trespassed through private property to get to the "Hollywood" sign.

You've partied in Tijuana at least once.

You know Hollywood has a "lake".

You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.

You've lost your car in the Century City Shopping Center parking lot.

You've ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.

You think that Venice is a beach.

You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.

You've started crossing a street and returned to the curb when the DON'T WALK sign started flashing.

You've never listened to NPR.

Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.

You have a favorite Thai restaurant.

You think Johnnny Rocket's is an accurate depiction of a diner.

You think Manhattan is a beach.

You eat pineapple on pizza.

You've been to Disneyland more times than Downtown.

When giving directions , you follow up with the phrase: "With/Without traffic."

You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "310."

Driving along, you see a high-speed police chase approaching in your rear view mirror. You don't panic or even flinch. Instead, you call your friends on your car phone and tell them you're on TV.

You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks. ....at every mall in my area, there are starbucks accross the street from eachother on all corners

Your cell phone has left a permanant impression on the side of your head.

You never, ever go into the water at the Beach. You barely touch the sand.

Everyone you know has 3+ phone numbers. Home, Office, mobile, pager, two-way, voicemail.....

It is not unusual for your waitress at a restaurant to have blue streaked hair, a dragon tattoo and tounge piercing.

You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. Your reply: "That ain't even a 5-pointer" and go back to sleep. YEAH! I'm always dissapointed when there's not a big one!

You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It don't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.

You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.

Walking out of Jamba Juice, you see that a movie is being shot on-location across the street. TV Show... "The O.C."

You are not happy, or even slightly exited that there may be a movie star there. You just say, " They f*ckin better not be blocking my parking space."

You have to yell at your bank teller through a 2 inch thick wall of plexi-glass.

That last one goes for your local convienience store man, too.

You go to Las Vegas for a weekend getaway and the whole trip cost you $50.

You personally know at least 5 people with agents.

You personally know at least 3 people who have been in a movie or TV show.

You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know that not everyone in Beverly Hills is a millionaire.

You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.

You've done something on a street corner in an attempt to get money (i.e. sang, tap danced, told jokes).

You've gotten parking tickets from parking in the red zone in front of your house.

You say you live in LA when really you live in a subsection of a subsection of a subsection of southern LA.

Any major movie star is picking out the best portobello mushrooms next to you at the grocers and you don't notice.

The guy at 8:30 in the morning at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.

You really can never be too rich or too thin.

The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.

The workday starts at 10am...or whenever you get out of your therapy session.

Any invitation comes with, "Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic."

You have never met a waiter that wasn't really an "Actor."

You never go to a coffee house without a copy of a script - any script.

It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH '99" 2005, but 99 works too..

You call 911 and they put you on hold.

You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:30 tae-bo class.

The three hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe lying on the shoulder.

A nurse can look at you in all seriousness and ask, "you don't drink or smoke, right?"

All the "cool gyms" allow pedestrians on the street a full-view of those working out. Literally, you can't drive by Wilshire without staring into L.A. Fitness. Perhaps a new form of window shopping? people go to the windows and eat infront of them, it's hilarious

The hot seasonal party favor is a candied apple from Neiman's. The apples are called "Skinny Dippers."

The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.

Bars card. For real.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Los Angeles.[/qoute]

hismajesty


QwertyMonster

You know your from Britian when..
Quote
You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.

You're always a half an hour late to work ... no-one notices or cares.

Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.

You can actually give directions to some of those annoying tourists in Oxford Street!

You step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them.

You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub.

You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes.

You dissolve in laughter when listening to the funny accent of the Aussie international telephone operator (or on TV!).

You think £40 for a haircut is quite reasonable.

You can't remember what 'customer service' means.

After a big night out you find yourself looking for a Curry house

More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

You don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser

You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'.

You only just realise you have lost your sunnies, you left them in Greece 2 summers ago.

You like English cuisine. I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.

You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat... this year

You've bought a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco.

A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.

You always call soccer football and you have a team and it's not Manchester United.

You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.

A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear

You've accepted queuing as a way of life.

You believe that every American is a fatass addicted to hamburgers and hotdogs.

You despise the French (but then, who doesn't?).

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Britan.

Hdx

QuoteTwo-thirds of the people you know are from California, yet there is no sun.
You can list five reasons why Starbucks is evil.
You blame everything that's not right on ex-Californians.
You remember the date, severity, time of day, where you were, and how long you were out of power for every winter weather event for the last five years.
You know what and when the Columbus Day storm was. Bonus for having been there.
You go to a coffee bar and see two guys get into a fight over who makes the best India Pale Ale.
You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.
You can go a whole week without seeing the sun or a person of color.
You have a bookstore, coffee bar, and brewpub all within walking distance of your house.
You think downtown is scary 'cause you were panhandled there ... once.
When you drive out of town, every other guy in a pickup looks like the governor.
When you drive out of town, even the Hondas have gun racks.
When the weather gets above 50 degrees you put on your shorts, but you still wear hiking boots and your parka.
When the weather gets above 60 you replace your hiking boots with sandals.
You think people who use umbrellas are wimps.
You can recount more than five anecdotes about why the East Side is a crime-infested jungle
... OR ...
You can list more than five reasons why the West Side is a boring, snobby, white-bread suburb.
You know what it is in between the East Side and the West Side, and how to pronounce it.
You are sitting at a red light surrounded by Subaru Legacy Outbacks.
A tree or mudslide has ever damaged your house or car.
You live equidistant to a symphony hall, a winery, and a volcano.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Portland, OR.
god dammen i suck...
~-~(HDX)~-~

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hismajesty

Hm. Since mine was so long I made the ones that apply to me bold. I messed up the alignment, too. Oh well.