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Yoni is alive!

Started by Netcooler, September 17, 2004, 09:53 AM

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Netcooler

Yes! It has been confirmed!



DNA tests have shown that the man in the picture is indeed Yoni, the beloved teenage programmer who has gone missing several days ago by a vicious Greek terrorist group known as the "IOI Greek Liberation Front". The IOIs are mean, cruel and we all remember the deadly actions they took a few weeks ago on the M12 highway in England. Authorities say Yoni is still alive, but his health condition is weak and deteriorating.
The IOI group released this photo, as they are waiting for the 100 billion gagillion bizillion Euro ransom to be paid. Yoni is said to be held captive in IOI Village - their secluded jungle rendezvous hideout in the deep forests of Greece. Oh man, can they descend to an even lower level?
Special analysts say Yoni was forced to take this picture of himself so that the IOI could bluff the world saying Yoni is doing well. But look at these sunglasses they're probably there to hide Yoni's black eyes from brutal punching and lack of sleep (old Vietnamese torture method). Yoni has not shaven in months, and it is visible as well. Yoni is hiding his lower lip to disclose the cutting marks on it. His right hand is hiding the slitting marks created on his wrists with Hattori Hanzo swords the IOIs have obtained in illegal ways. The hat is hiding the bumps on his head the IOIs have made using large clubs. And his body language! Oh, his body language! It just screams for help! "Save me! Save me!" he says, but to no avail.
Let's hope for his best, and may he one day be with us again.

btw, he comes back on Sunday.

Soul Taker

At least he has enough shampoo to last for a long time.

hismajesty


idoL

Thats his
"serious" face.