BellSouth Can Kiss My Ass!

[Thing]

I just got back from a trip to New Orleans where I had to do some serious hardware replacement on a network that was near a lightning strike.  Their Internet access (provided by BellSouth) was still down after I completed my tasks.

A lengthy call to Dumbass #1 at BellSouth forced to me insist on speaking to an engineer at the NOC (Network Operations Center). I will refer to him as dumbass #2, it just seems like the right thing to do.

Him: Do you have a firewall?
Me: Yes
Him: I think the problem is with your firewall.
Me: No it isn't.  The firewall is brand new.
Him: Did you configure it with the proper IP, subnet mask, etc.?
Me: Yes
Him: I'm checking our router and everything is fine on my end.
Me: No it isn't.

You get the idea.  After about one hour of me trying to convice him that his box was broke, I hear him mumbling to himself. "Oh I see what the problem is .... I'll send a technician out there within an hour."  About 30 seconds after we hung up, I see traffic starting to pass through the firewall.  Hmmm I wonder how that happened?  A quick call to his direct line was unanswered.  Hmmm I wonder why?  Apparently, dumbass #2 fixed his broke ass box and was too ashamed to answer his phone when I called back.

Soooo guess what happens now?  I have already had two phone calls from BellSouth wanting me to close the trouble ticket.  They got to leave me messages.  I think I may keep the ticket open until I can extract a satisfactory explanation on what exactly the problem was and how it was resolved.  I will want that in writing though and so will the people that hired me to go there and deal with this mess.

The moral of the story is ...  If you are a Bell South customer and your Internet access drops, pour a cup of coffee into their equipment.  They will have to send somebody out there to fix it and you won't have to speak to any of their dumbasseseseseses.

[hismajesty]

lol that was intresting...maybe you should work for bellsouth? hmm...

[iago]

Better yet, he should go work for BellNorth :-D

This reminds me of a story from http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid

[Thing]

Both of you should die.

I would rather push burgers out of a window at McDonalds than work in a call center.  I understand that these guys talk to idiots most of the day, but we had reached a point in both conversations when it should have been obvious that I had a clue what was going on.  They have already turned into mindless robots going down their checklist.

Another thing I should point out is that this account is NOT a DSL subscriber.  It is a business customer paying for an Integrated T1.  I will extract a confession from Emanuel (dumbass #2) today and post it here.

[hismajesty]

Better yet, he should go work for BellNorth :-D

that reminded me of

[00:50:13] <Invert[vL]> MichaelS of Blizzard North
[00:50:37] <Sky> u work for blizz?
[00:50:42] <Invert[vL]> Blizzard North
[00:51:21] <Invert[vL]> In San Mateo, CA
[00:51:25] <USeRLoSeR> what's the difference between north and south?
[00:51:33] <USeRLoSeR> i mean, blizzard north/south
[00:51:56] <Invert[vL]> South is in the south North is in the North
[00:52:01] <Sky> lol
[00:52:03] <USeRLoSeR> er
[00:52:03] <Invert[vL]> I work in the North
[00:52:20] <Invert[vL]> Blizzard South is normal Blizzard
[00:52:25] <Invert[vL]> they were the original
[00:53:02] <Invert[vL]> North was another company before Blizzard South bought them out

http://forum.valhallalegends.com/phpbbs/index.php?board=2;action=display;threadid=18;start=30

[Raven]

Customer: (angrily) "You said I would get 98 windows with this computer. Where are they?"

Hehe!

[hismajesty]

lol

one of my favorites....

I'm a computer science student. I used to play MUDs quite a bit. A few years ago I was playing on a 386 somewhere in a lab -- through a telnet terminal session, in DOS. Two obvious business majors were standing behind me.


Business Major #1: "What the heck is he doing!?"
Business Major #2: "Well, it's not Internet, so that must be email, I suppose."

sadly thats so true

[Thing]

Update:  I spoke to dumbass #2 and asked him to explain to me "exactly" what the problem was and what was done to correct it.  He began to explain it to me over the phone when I stopped him, and asked if he could send the information to me in an email.  He agreed and I gave him my email address.  He then informed me that he was not allowed to send that to me by email.

Me: Why can't you send it to me?
Him: It must be handled by our Network Alliance Team.
Me: Who are they?
Him: They handle all interactions with the customer.
Me: So you are telling me that you are not allowed to tell me why my service was down.
Him: Yes.
Me: You need to get another job man.  You are working in hell.
Him: *laughs*
Me: Who is in charge of the Network Alliance Team?
Him: Greg Loyd.
Me: *thinks "Oh goody, dumbass #3"*  What is his phone number?
Him: I don't know.
Me: How long will it take for me to get a response?
Him: About a day or two.
Me: This is absolutely ridiculous.  Did we get a free toaster when we signed up for your service?

The saga continues...

[hismajesty]

that sucks they are dumb...he probably lives over in like india or w/e (thats where microsoft and AOL are hiring their tech support) and if its T1 well thats not cheap so you should be receiving better support...
this is what americas youth has to look forward to dumbasses to dumb to do their job to help the dumbasses that think the other dumbasses are dumbasses.

(no im not calling you a dumbass)

[Thing]

This is the part I like the most, when they send me written lies.  Attorney's love that shit.  So remember boys and girls, if you know somebody is going to lie to you, make them do it in writing.

Code Select Expand

From: "Bennett, Scott" <[email protected]>
To: "'[email protected]'" <[email protected]>
Cc: "Agubata, Emmanuel" <[email protected]>
Subject: RFO ticket 200872
Date: Tue, 5 Aug 2003 16:17:43 -0400

Scott,

As requested, attached is a copy of the RFO (reason for outage) for BellSouth Internet Group NOC ticket 200872.

Please give me a call if you have questions.

Thank you,

Scott Bennett
Network Alliance Manager
BellSouth Internet Group
404-499-5770Here is the attachment

Code Select Expand

PROBLEM
On July 25, 2003 an analyst in BellSouth Internet Group NOC observed an alarm indicating that the serial interface was down.


CAUSE
It was researched and discovered that a weather related incident and lightening strike caused the Vina box, which is a part of the BS transport layer to the customer's Local Area Network, to go out of sync.


EVALUATION SUMMARY

After the alarm was acknowledged, proper troubleshooting steps were taken to determine the root cause, which isolated the issue to the Vina box. Further action required the dispatch of a BellSouth technician to the customer site to reboot the Vina box. After the Vina box was rebooted, service was restored. Currently, the ticket is in monitoring status to verify that there are no other issues or defects with the equipment.

RESOLUTION
A BellSouth technician was dispatched to customer site to reboot the Vina box. After Vina box was rebooted, service was restored.

This ticket was placed in monitoring status to verify that there are no other issues or defects with the equipment.The only true part of this is that their service did go down on July 25, 2003.  Everything else is bullshit.  They never sent a tech out to the plant.  After messing with the Bell dumbasses for 5 days, my client spent a crapload of money to fly me down there.
I must formulate my response and post it.

[Hazard]

If I ever sign up for Bell South services I'll be certain to request my free bowl of soup. This is quite the saga. I believe a screenplay is in order.

!~!HaZaRD!~!