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Funny Little story

Started by JWiSe, August 01, 2003, 05:58 PM

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JWiSe

Heres A little Funny Story, though i might share.

Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered.

Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother. "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he started kissing and hugging herI figured 'Sis must be getting sickbecause her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the docotr because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt.

About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the ! ! ! couch. This was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick -- a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When Sis saw it, she got really scared -- her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that.

She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down at the lake by our house! Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting again. Sis layed back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats -- they have nine lives or something.

This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet

j0k3r

Wow that's old... I remember reading that like 4 years ago...
QuoteAnyone attempting to generate random numbers by deterministic means is, of course, living in a state of sin
John Vo

Eibro

I don't get it... an eel would suffocate if it were out of the water that long.
Eibro of Yeti Lovers.

iago

Quote from: Eibro on August 01, 2003, 09:28 PM
I don't get it... an eel would suffocate if it were out of the water that long.

Haha that was actually funny :)
This'll make an interesting test for broken AV:
QuoteX5O!P%@AP[4\PZX54(P^)7CC)7}$EICAR-STANDARD-ANTIVIRUS-TEST-FILE!$H+H*


Denial

Intresting Little story you got there
Actus non facit reum nisi mens sit rea

j0k3r

Quote from: Eibro on August 01, 2003, 09:28 PM
I don't get it... an eel would suffocate if it were out of the water that long.

Which is how it died Eibro...  ;)
QuoteAnyone attempting to generate random numbers by deterministic means is, of course, living in a state of sin
John Vo

Hazard

Hrm... twisted...

!~!HaZaRD!~!

"Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway." --John Wayne

Adron

Quote from: j0k3r on August 09, 2003, 07:58 AM
Quote from: Eibro on August 01, 2003, 09:28 PM
I don't get it... an eel would suffocate if it were out of the water that long.

Which is how it died Eibro...  ;)

And I thought it was kept wet most of the time...

j0k3r

Quote from: Adron on August 09, 2003, 10:56 AM
Quote from: j0k3r on August 09, 2003, 07:58 AM
Quote from: Eibro on August 01, 2003, 09:28 PM
I don't get it... an eel would suffocate if it were out of the water that long.

Which is how it died Eibro...  ;)

And I thought it was kept wet most of the time...

No silly, it had a plastic bag over it's head  ::)
QuoteAnyone attempting to generate random numbers by deterministic means is, of course, living in a state of sin
John Vo

Eibro

It might be just me, but it seems that story is describing two people having sex.
Eel == Penis!!!!!
Eibro of Yeti Lovers.

j0k3r

Quote from: Eibro on August 09, 2003, 11:22 AM
It might be just me, but it seems that story is describing two people having sex.
Eel == Penis!!!!!

You dirty, dirty child.
QuoteAnyone attempting to generate random numbers by deterministic means is, of course, living in a state of sin
John Vo

sPlOrYgOn

wonder what the mother did after that.. ::)