Valhalla Legends Archive

General => Fun Forumâ„¢ => Topic started by: Hitmen on January 24, 2004, 10:58 AM

Title: 213 things not to do in the army
Post by: Hitmen on January 24, 2004, 10:58 AM
http://www.avalanchetankers.us/archives/000058.html
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: j0k3r on January 24, 2004, 12:11 PM
Damn some of those were REALLY funny., but some didn't seem to be realistic...
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: Raven on January 24, 2004, 09:07 PM
I read some of them, 199 was probably my favorite.

Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.

:)
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: Grok on January 24, 2004, 09:29 PM
Sounds like some really smart chic signed up for the Army and after being warned a couple times about following regulations, spent the remaining three years figuring out how to cause trouble but not break regulations.  Brilliant.
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: j0k3r on January 24, 2004, 09:51 PM
My favourite is:
87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: Grok on January 24, 2004, 10:49 PM
hehe ... "I should not assign new privates to 'guard the flight line'. "

the infamous flight line ... fun fun.
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: Hitmen on January 24, 2004, 11:44 PM
My favorites are right next to each other:

99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.

100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: iago on January 25, 2004, 03:22 AM
Quote from: Grok on January 24, 2004, 10:49 PM
hehe ... "I should not assign new privates to 'guard the flight line'. "

the infamous flight line ... fun fun.

I have no idea what a flight line is :(
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: Adron on January 25, 2004, 03:27 AM
Quote from: iago on January 25, 2004, 03:22 AM

I have no idea what a flight line is :(

Me neither. But it's probably nothing? Kind of like a flux capacitor? Either way, I assumed someone else would ask and save me from the effort :P
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: Grok on January 25, 2004, 04:07 AM
Ah, the flight line is a famous red line at U.S. Air Force Bases which marks the point beyond which unauthorized personel are considered targets by rambo-like air force security.  If you look wayyyyy down at the end of the red line you'll see a jeep or two with a couple security men sitting there, salivating at the thought of you putting your big toe over the line, so that they can come give you hell.
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: Adron on January 25, 2004, 04:16 AM
Haha, ok, so it wasn't a "go guard something that doesn't exist" type thing.
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: Thing on January 25, 2004, 07:41 AM
Another variant that my brother told me about was to send a newbie to supply to fetch a "roll of flight line".
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: Adron on January 25, 2004, 09:01 AM
Quote from: Thing on January 25, 2004, 07:41 AM
Another variant that my brother told me about was to send a newbie to supply to fetch a "roll of flight line".

Ah yes, that would be the kind of interpretation I was looking for.
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: iago on January 25, 2004, 11:17 AM
I went to the store yesterday and bought a dvd rewinder.
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: Raven on January 25, 2004, 06:24 PM
Quote from: iago on January 25, 2004, 11:17 AM
I went to the store yesterday and bought a dvd rewinder.

I need one of those too; my DVD player didn't come with that function. :(
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: Crazy_X on January 26, 2004, 09:46 AM
Quote from: iago on January 25, 2004, 11:17 AM
I went to the store yesterday and bought a dvd rewinder.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: Grok on January 26, 2004, 10:20 AM
we need 25 feet of gig line from the supply depot.
go get an 18-tooth squeegie from the maintenance office.
mix up a five-gallon bucket of bulkhead remover.
getting the commanding officer's approval for water slugs.
left-handed hammers,
wire stretchers,
prop wash,
muffler bearings,
jet exhaust,
sky hooks,
bucket of steam,
flight apron,
padeye wrench ...

Those were the days :)
Title: Re:213 things not to do in the army
Post by: Adron on January 26, 2004, 11:41 AM
Quote from: Grok on January 26, 2004, 10:20 AM
left-handed hammers,

That was in Day of the Tentacle btw :)